Archive for May, 2011

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Spent the whole day yesterday tidying up and suiting up and/or waiting for my mom to get back so she could take this photo. I made this dress four years ago……it doesn't fit anymore. But at least it has an open front. The dress I wore underneath it don't fit anymore neither, but it's a pullover and it doesn't stretch. I could hardly move or even breath, and the back seam split as I was trying to change back to normal.

At first, I'd told my bro, "I'm going to wear this every day when I rule the world." Continuing on that thread, a little while later I added, "Ruling the world is easy; It's wearing all the fancy clothes that will wear you down." No kidding. xD

The necklace I wore with this somehow managed to give me a nightmare last night. No kidding. D:

EDIT: Aaaah HA! THAT explains it all! I recently remembered that it was in fact TWO necklaces that I was wearing together that—-in combination—-inspired the following nightmare:

I dreampt that I was outdoors beside a mansion, and bounced a supperball really hard on the sidewalk. It went around the corner of the mansion and smashed a big ol' hole through one of its upper story windows. I went inside to get the ball, but some of my friends hung back at the front door and said it was haunted. On the ground floor in a "grand hall" sort of area, right as I walked in, I took a moment to stop in the mansion's restroom. (Bad idea right? ….yeah…) Unfortunately, it was serious, and I must assume I was in there at least 20 minutes. I could hear a large group of people outside in the Grand Hall, and speaking in a loud voice over the sound of all their shoes on the waxed floors was a tour guide. Naturally, the mansion had historical value. I had to assume that giving educational tours of the place was how people kept it from falling into disrepair.

I finished up and washed my hands, only to look in the mirror over the sink and realize that a tangled, heavy mass of small, black, metal chains had grown like vines out of my own skin around my collarbone and neck. I pulled at them, but they wouldn't budge and felt really weird. Over several minutes, I even watched as the mass slowly got longer and thicker until it almost obscured me from that angle. I wanted to run out of the building, but didn't want the tour group to see someone like this. As I tried buttoning my shirt higher to cover them, a ghostly woman appeared and passively explained that 'The problem with people is that they don't believe they're real,' meaning, I guess, that they wouldn't just disappear when I left the mansion.

She continued explaining, frequently repeating that line, and I kicked the toilette onto its side. As if in rewind, the toilette stood itself back up and all the spilt water jumped back into the bowl.

In short, I stated to understand that the chains were like the chains of Marley's ghost in "A Chrismas Carol". As explained by Marley in that story, the chains we drag in the afterlife are forged by our deeds while we are alive. As such, Marley's were made of locks, keys, accounting books, and such. In the mansion, black chains growing from the heart symbolizes all the dark thins one loves; For me, the links were small, but numerous enough to form a curtain…. I really don't remember much else of the dream.

Now in my defense, I can't really figure weather the dream meant stuff like my love of writing spooky stories, such as this very nightmare in itself, or actual sins, like self-pity and holding grudges. (Which I've done too much of, lately, anyway. *pouts*)

Confound those darn necklaces. The first is actually an heirloom from my great-grandmother who died when I was 5. It's actually blue, not black, and made of "seed beads", not chain-links. I know it was the inspiration for the dream because it has many, many strands of these blue seed-beads that are tangled together for stylish effect. The second necklace which I'd at first forgotten about is a rhinestone heart suspended between two silver angel wings.

If you could only live in one season for the rest of your life, which would you choose, and why?

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Autumn, absolutely. I love the implacable feeling on the wind that something mysterious is just around the corner…. at all times…. untouchable….. overwhelming…. incessant….

Halloween haunted house wouldn't be half as scary without that atmosphere, imo.

Sure, I might bounce from climate to climate around the world just to see what the difference was between autumns geographically, but I'd be hard pressed to ever wish I could change my mind on this. Whether when I lived in Maryland, or even these days in Arizona, autumn always, always, always ends too quickly.

I always forget until I see them every year, so I'm glad this occurred to me now——-I practically spaz with delight when I see a large flock of migrating birds fly overhead. Maybe automobile owners don't appreciate such things, but I am not an automobile owner. ;3

Logically, if the first Rule of Science is
"Don't wee in the wind"

Then the second Rule of Science must be
"Don't look up with your mouth open"

If you found a magical stone that could keep one person young forever, would you keep it or give it to someone else? If the latter, to whom would you give it?

Submitted By '[info]'naganna

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Well, weather I kept it or gave it up, I'm pretty sure that some evil supperpowered wannabe wold dominator would soon be on the hunt to take it and kill whoever had it.

Supposing that wasn't an issue though, I might put it on a collar and give it to my dog. I'm so sad that he's getting old… 🙁

For the greater good of mankind maybe it'd be best to give it to the world's next Mother Teresa, but, honestly, I don't think someone who loved God so much would seriously want to be kept from Him for so long. No poor mortal owes more than one life's work in this cruel world, so asking someone to serve for eternity is pretty sick once you think about it. Then again, a good story could focus around an ancient line of successors… One simply retains the stone until they meet another saintly good person willing to wait around for someone else to come along and take it from them… Then again…..the longer one lives the more one sins……like how an ice-sculpture actually has more heat energy than a lit match, it's just dispersed more…….over the course of a thousand years, maybe even someone like Mother Teresa could end up at the Pearly Gates with quite a lot of explaining to do… Let's just go with "Absolute power corrupts absolutely" —John Acton and call it a day.

Take one down…..pass it around……98 immortality amulets on the wall….

If you could meet your true inner self, what would s/he look like, and what would s/he tell you?

Submitted By '[info]'hell_missrose

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Mmmmmm…. Immgonna have to really think about this one.

Many creative writers like to include or even star 'the one character that is supposed to be themselves' in their fiction, but after a little inadvertent advice from a Theology teacher, I now take a rather different approach. All my Theology teacher said was a psychology theory she'd heard from someone else—-that EVERY character in a dream is in fact some aspect of the dreamer themselves. Not on purpose, but because I caught myself working this way without realizing it, I create new characters in my stories by starting with a cloned complete set of my own personality traits, and then subtracting various traits that counterbalance certain other traits…

For instance, I have one character who is just like me, but minus any bad luck in life whatsoever. She is happy, generous, easily excitable, never misunderstood, and good at rubbing those positive feelings off on other people. Being around her is almost like being around a (sword-wielding) child version of Marry Poppins, because some things that happen to her are just so lucky it's beyond belief even for firsthand witnesses, like (at a casino) sneaking up behind people at the Slot Machine, quickly pressing the lever for them, and winning, every single time. Kind of a "pay it forward" type when it comes to doing favors for others.

Then, of course, there is a second character in the same story who is precisely the opposite—-just like me except she never has any good luck. She literally has her own pet poltergeist that follows her around and ruins her life, not out of spite, but as a twisted display of affection—because the other character LIKES being cursed. The ghost gives her what she wants even at the cost of her life. I say that the essential counter-trait that she's missing is a conscious. She has no intent to do wrong, but she does things that hurt herself and others without a second thought. That said, she's pretty selfish.

I suppose I've already put enough work into this project that I HAVE to mention it. In Heart of the Realm, the character who is easily the most like myself is the young Ansem, because he is actually a lot like the second of those other two characters… In both, I exaggerated my own trait of workaholism, amputated a good chunk of their sense of right and wrong, or rather in Ansem's case allowed him to believe "the end justifies the means," which I'm personally against, and turned them both loose under extreme conditions that inevitably bring out the worst in themselves. Such as taking matters way too far; Knowing when to quit, though clearly not one of my greater virtues, is something I removed from them both completely.

Noctis Lucis Caelum is also quite a lot like myself, but from him I specifically removed any care for intellectual mumbojumbo, like the sciences and fine arts, just the opposite of how I characterized Ansem. Like myself, Noctis loves fighting arts, but I took away the precious quality of self restraint, making him loud, impulsive, and even coldblooded at times. I also made him far, far less suspicious of people, which ultimately makes him naive, and enables his father's betrayal. Logically, I can figure that it's pretty hard for kids to learn to not trust their own parents, but Noctis probably should have after a certain point. I imagine his dad coming home at times out of breath, through hidden back doorways, and still carrying a smoking pistol… Trouble is that Noct was raised to think stuff like that was normal. 🙁

Dulce is probably the least like me in Heart of the Realm. She is unambitious, despite being engaged to a prince, unathletic, and can't imagine why anyone would desire any but a quiet, pleasant lifestyle. (Hans is similarly lax, though en rout to become king, which is why they're a good match.) With Dulce, I'm actually tying to idealize a total inversion of some of my most basic ideals….if that makes sense… She is me except she she isn't gung-ho about any gosh darn thing.

Savannah is somewhere in between Noctis and Ansem. I did not deny her my suspicious nature like I did for Noctis, but I did deny her any real interest in science, even though she still likes pure clockwork. (She could care less weather the true essence of Kingdom Hearts was Light or Darkness—–she just wants to know how the lock on that giant door woks!) She likes fighting as much as Noctis does, but unlike him has self restraint. Instead, the essential trait which I have denied her—-is other commitments. Science and the creative arts mean more to me than martial arts, but Savannah doesn't care for the former two, thus she joins Project SOLDIER.

Kinda interesting, no? Just imagine if I was never handed a paintbrush as a kid… (I recently relocated two large framed watercolor paintings from when I was 2!) Or if I hadn't heard of Stephen Hawking at the age of 14… Or even if my mom hadn't put me in Tae Kwan Do when I was 10… Can it be that these simple things were destined to happen? I swear they're the reasons I am what I am this very day. Why, just imagine if I never heard of Kingom Hearts! No trenchcoat project, no 8-keyblade Comic-Con performance, and probably even no Yuki Onna costume, and that's not even related to videogames. I'm just saying that if it wasn't for the Deep Dive secret ending, I probably never would have delved into costume design. ….And I probably would have finished HS if my friend hadn't talked me into writing a novel. Writing is so important to me now… Strange ne?

Uhh, no, that special novel wasn't Heart of the Realm. It was………top secret. Naw, seriously, I actually DON'T spew every lame thought that enters my fuzzy head. There's quite a bit of lame thinking that never sees the light of day. lol

It's a work in progress. But I like. 🙂

It's been so, so long since I've liked any drawings that I attempted. A couple of years ago I stopped trying because no mater how hard I tried to counter the effect, my drawings always without fail came out stretched such that you had to tilt them diagonally in order to see the picture right. I don't have a %#^% clue how that kept happening. 🙁

Yeah, sure, I probably could have considered a career drawing ratedillusional sidewalk pictures, but when you're not stretching your drawings on purpose, it just isn't one lick of fun. I was also dead jealous of artists who could draw way better stuff in 10-20 hours instead of 50-100 hours like I would spend. I lost my patience for drawing, totally, when I realized I could be making $10 an hour doing far lesser things. If I coulda made $300 on a drawing I spent 50 hours on, that's still less than min wage, and I ain't 'paying a client for the privilege of working for them' by going less——it's not like my art sucks.

That said, until I discovered Muro (what I used to draw the blue picture above) plain wax crayon and MS Paint were actually the ONLY mediums I actually had fun working in. (See: "Winged Knightess" and "Back-Stabbing Topiary")

It's also no fair that other artists have $400 digital drawing tablets and $700 paint programs. THAT'S PRACTICALLY CHEATING!!! D:

HotR Mount Names

Well, apparently I like to give the mounts names and personalities, too. 😀

Esmeralda ~ a green chocobo hen 
Odette ~ a white chocobo hen
Fenrir ~ a black chocobo cock

Three of Zoe's beloved chocobos from her youth.
* All chocobos can fly, but are illegal in cities due to droppings.
True, horses poop by the tons as well, but not on rooftops.

~ a talking blue and red griffin ridden by Savannah

in the Battle of Beruna in the world of Narnia.

Victor ~ a talking chestnut stallion ridden by Ansem

in the Battle of Beruna in the world of Narnia. 

Fulminé ~ a pure white unicorn mare ridden by Hans

in the Battle of Beruna in the world of Narnia. 

Maelstrom ~ a high-spirited black mare with a white mane ridden by

Ansem when he goes to get the Oblivion Keychain from Noctis.
Popularly depicted as a unicorn later, for added kingly heroism.
(The guy who saddled her was teasing Ansem for his white hair.)

Ichabod ~ a massive pure black charger with orangy-brown eyes
Baskerville ~ another enormous black charger, but with blue eyes

Two of Hans'  favorite horses.

Guenevere ~ an incredibly beautiful palomino mare, mane often braided

One of Hans' horses that Ansem gave to Dulce when he died.

Elvis ~ a white speckled stallion with black legs and a black mane

Another of Hans' horses; the "wiseguy" of the Bastion Stables.


I've been thinking lately (of course) that it would take a lot less time and effort to finish Heart of the Realm if I just started over. Oh, how I hate to even suggest that…. For that entails discarding the 46,000 words I wrote for NaNoWriMo last November. I only got 1/12 of the way through my outline. The storytelling wasn't dynamic enough, which made it inefficient, regardless of weather every line was enjoyable or not. NOBODY (that I know of) has even read those 46k words yet, so I don't even have a clue what other people think of it. (And here I see other KH fanfiction writers complaining about needing more reviews on their stories……who already have over 50 reviews on just one of their stories! Sooo no fair.)

I wanna add more Disney worlds. I've lost track. But I just feel like adding more. I remember liking an idea I had probably years ago—-to use manly Disney's flop films, like "Treasure Planet" and "Spirit". Well, or at least the films that probably NEVER will get used in the Kingdom Hearts games, like "Marry Poppins". Why "Pirates of the Caribbean" merited an appearance when Marry Poppins didn't, I shall never know. Walt Disney himself didn't even work on it. D:

Class "a" = worlds from a particular Disney or Final Fantasy title
Class "b" = worlds or landscapes originally from Kingdom Hearts
Class "c" = totally original worlds/places—by me—unique to HotR

If you get confused by this system as you're reading along, it's probably because
I made up an original name for a world that is seen in the games but never named,
or I renamed a place that already has a name (and a storyline) in the games, but
I thought it was stupid, or I just felt like completely taking my own direction with it.

1b Dark Holm ("Deep Dive" a la KH2 retcon)

Ansem's nightmare version of Noctis' hometown, Niflheim.

1c Haruka Town (ALL ORIGINAL)

A tiny, sleepy, shoreline village over the Distant Mountains.

2c Lambent Falls ("Radiant Garden" a la KH2 retcon)

A shining, forested metropolis that surrounds Hollow Bastion.

2b Hollow Bastion ("Kingdom Hearts")

The name of Ansem's castle in the city of Lambent Falls.

3c Corregno (ORIGINAL)

Later known as Hollow Bastion by world travelers. A
planetoid cut off from the other worlds 500 years ago.
(Latin "cor regno", meaning "heart of the kingdom")

1a The 100 Acre Wood ("Winnie the Pooh")

A book belonging to Ansem's friend Christopher Robbin.

2a The Northern Slopes ("Brother Bear")

Where Ansem is briefly turned into an orange eyed owl.

3a The World in the Wardrobe
("Chronicles of Narnia")

A magical land inhabited by talking animals, where Ansem
lives for 20 years but is turned a kid again when he leaves.

3b The Distant Mountains (ORIGINAL)

A faint mountain range seen from the castle balconies in-game.

4c Somnolent Sands

A beach near Haruka Town where there's a royal summer cottage.

5c The Jetty

Where Noctis nearly drowns and Ansem hits his head.

4a Niflheim ("Final Fantasy Versus XIII")

Noctis' hometown in the Lowlands region near Fort Niflhel.

6c Fort Niflhel (ALL ORIGINAL)

An ancient castle ruin where once dwelt an evil monarchy.

7c Niflheim Institute (ALL ORIGINAL)

Where Dr. Sid treats Ansem's amnesia and interviews Noctis.

8c Empyrean Manor (ALL ORIGINAL)

The Caelum family's historical estate in the heart of Niflheim.

4b Olim Terra Bella ("Keyblade Graveyard" a la BBS retcon)

A vast badlands where a great mythical war took place.
(Latin for "the land of wars in times past", but ironically
mistakable for "???? beautiful land" in Italian.)

5a The Secret Lab ("The Emperor's New Goove")

An underground lair where Yzma brews potions for Caelum.

6a Pleasure Island

Where bad little boys are lured and then turned into donkeys.

7a Chimney Alley ("Marry Poppins")

A smoky rooftop wonderland known only to chimney sweeps.

8a Chernobog ("Atlantis: The Lost Empire")

The submarine Ansem built in collage to discover Atlantis.

9a The Bastion Stables

Where Hans spends all his free time.

10a The Kitchens ("The Muppets")

Where Ansem encounters the Swedish Chef.

11a Radiant Garden ("Final Fantasy VIII")

An orphanage run by the benevolent Sorceress Edea.

12a Forbidden Mountain
("Sleeping Beauty")

The wicked fairy Maleficent's former abode.

9c The Crumbling Fjord

A place north of Haruka Town where no one ever goes.

10c The Breaking Bridge

Why no one ever goes there.

5b End of the World ("Kingdom Hearts")

A surreal conglomeration of shards from all the vanished worlds.

6b World Terminus ("Kingdom Hearts")

A series of inhabitable world fragments in End of the World.

7b Destiny Islands ("Kingdom Hearts")

One of the worlds to which Ansem led his army of Heartless.

8b World of Chaos ("Kingdom Hearts")

A black void enveloping the doorway to Kingdom Hearts.

9b Inner Kingdom Hearts ("Kingdom Hearts")

The "door to darkness" within the "heart of all worlds".

Castle room names from the actual games:

* Kingdom Hearts I
Rising Falls
Castle Gates
Base Level
Entrance Hall
Lift Stop
Great Crest
High Tower
Castle Chapel
Grand Hall
Dark Depths

* Kingdom Hearts II
Ansem's Study

* Special
Chamber of Repose
Chamber of Waking 
Heartless Manufacturer
Heartless Manufactory

FAIL times a billion is what it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*hasta find some game designer heads to bonk now* ~